Save One, Lose Another
by sapphire-child
Summary: Desmond saved Claire from drowning so that Charlie wouldn’t go in. What he didn’t bank on was what happened next. Season three AU.


**Title:** Save One, Lose Another  
**Character/s:** Desmond, Charlie  
**Spoilers:** up to Flashes Before Your Eyes  
**Original Post Date:** 07/12/2007  
**Summary:** AU. Desmond saved Claire from drowning so that Charlie wouldn't go in. What he didn't bank on was what happened next…  
**Disclaimer:** Clearly this never happened on the show – thus why FANfiction! Cheers.

* * *

The baby had been crying all day and that sound to Desmond indicated just how big a failure he truly was. Every piercing cry that came from the infant's mouth cut straight through to his heart. Did the poor mite actually understand what had happened? Or was he just pining for someone who he had just barely begun to miss?

Everyone had been shocked by the death. It had been so completely unexpected – even to Desmond who had foreseen it – or at least thought that he had.

_Drowning._

He shuddered at the word, remembering back to when he had learnt first aid when he had been in the army. For some inane reason, part of the curriculum was that they had to be taught about the different types of drowning and how best to treat them. Desmond clearly remembered some young smart aleck pointing out that since they weren't in the navy, did they really need to learn the difference between a wet drowning and a dry drowning?

The lecturer had tartly pointed out that a dry drowning was often the result of a fatal chest wound that caused the person to begin hyperventilating and eventually asphyxiate themselves. And as for not having water out in the field, hadn't he ever heard of anyone falling unconscious with their face in a puddle before?

The man had fallen silent after that and despite himself Desmond had silently filed away the three different types – just in case he should ever need them one day.

_A wet drowning – where the victim inhales water into their stomach and/or lungs. A dry drowning – where the victim has little to no fluid in their lungs and dies instead from asphyxiation due to the air-tube being constricted. A secondary drowning – whereby the victim survives the initial drowning, only for their lungs to become too damaged to continue functioning._

When Desmond had pulled Claire back from the brink, he'd been utterly jubilant. He'd saved her from drowning and in turn had saved Charlie from trying to save her and drowning too. His vision hadn't come true – Charlie was safe once again.

After Claire had dried off and changed into warm clothes however, she had remained sick and shaky for the rest of the day and Charlie had pushed Desmond aside rather forcibly in order to take care of her. He really was very protective of her he observed, almost obsessively so. But Desmond wasn't in a position to judge – the two of them were obviously close and in any case, his work was now done.

He saw no problem in leaving the two of them to their own devices until the next vision came.

The last time he'd seen them together, Charlie had been kneeling beside Claire's bed, stroking her forehead gently as she gave in to a fit of violent coughing.

The next morning, Charlie's grief stricken howls had woken the entire beach camp.

In absence of a doctor, Sayid had stepped in and pronounced the tragic news that Claire had indeed died in her sleep.

"She was getting better!" Charlie kept sobbing, Aaron screaming wildly in his arms, starving for his mother's milk. "She stopped coughing after a while and she talked to me and _she was getting better_. What the hell _happened_?"

It took Sayid all morning to convince Charlie to leave her side. He was all but inconsolable. Sun took Aaron and tried to comfort him as best she could whilst Sayid walked Charlie to the half finished church for a very long talk. Afterwards, Desmond watched from the trees as Charlie began to dig a new grave, refusing all help.

At sundown, Sayid and John carried Claire's body to the grave and after a few empty words were spoken, they imprisoned her beauty forever within the salted dust whilst Charlie stood there, holding her orphaned son in his arms, crying tears of pure loss, empty and cold.

And Desmond stood there wordlessly, feeling utterly sick with guilt as everyone else patted Charlie on the back and left.

Charlie continued to stand there for a long time after everyone had gone – not dazed at all, but rather incredibly focused, staring at the pile of dirt that Claire was resting under like he was trying to imprint some memory of her into his minds eye.

"I'm sorry brother," Desmond broke the stifling silence with a whisper but Charlie still jumped. He'd been so absorbed that he hadn't even realised that he wasn't actually alone. "It must've been a uh… a secondary drowning. Her lungs got too badly damaged to keep on working."

Charlie stared at him, his face unreadable and then a spasm of pain shot across it.

"You knew," he said suddenly, accusingly, his voice thick and choked and raw from his grief. "You _knew_ she was drowning yesterday."

"Aye," Desmond agreed, his voice shaking. "I did."

Charlie considered him for a moment – apparently he wasn't surprised in the slightest – and then he asked the question that Desmond had been both expecting and dreading.

"How?"

Desmond sucked in a shaky breath. Charlie didn't look angry exactly – in fact, he seemed beyond all emotion, blank and lost – but he knew that this could change in a heartbeat.

"I saw it," he murmured. Unable to hold Charlie's gaze any longer, he dropped his eyes. "I saw her drowning and you going in to save her – just like I saw her getting struck by lightning the other day."

"That's why you pitched that bloody rod," Charlie said bleakly, understanding flooding his voice like a vile poison. "To divert the lightning from us. To save us both."

"Aye,"

"Why…" Charlie shook his head, anguished, and then tried again. "Why did you even bother trying to save her if she was going to die from this stupid lung thing anyway?" he was crying again now and Desmond's heart wrenched to know that he might have been able to stop this man from feeling this exquisite pain if he'd only just... "_Why_ Desmond?"

"Because I thought I was saving _you_ Charlie!" Desmond whispered, breaking out into breathy sobs between his words. "But I was wrong...I was wrong…"

Charlie stared at him, tears pouring down his face onto the screaming baby in his arms, still not completely understanding. Desmond stared down at the child, filled with a horror that knew no end.

_You can't change fate._

"I was supposed to save Claire."


End file.
